Korea Update 6/25/02

5000 years of history couldn't do it. Nor did having a landscape of rolling mountains and rivers, or a country full of beautiful and generous people (outside of Seoul, that is). Kim Dae-jung winning a Nobel Peace Prize or Im Kwon-taek winning the best director prize at the Cannes Film Festival for his film Chiwhasun didn't do it.

It took an international football(or soccer, as we say in the states) tournament for Koreans to achieve national pride and unity.

I'm not saying that there weren't proud Koreans before World Cup 2002, but it was usually limited to nationalist activists, military and government personnel, and tiny minority who strove to remember the good(and sometimes bad) parts of traditional culture. And even amongst them there was often a note of insecurity, a feeling that Korea didn't have much to be proud of but hey, it's all we've got so let's be patriotic anyways.

Now it's different. Or at least for the last two weeks it's been different. Red has become the national color, and EVERYONE is wearing it, especially on tournament days. When Korea played Portugal, 2 million people hit the streets and watched the game in major plazas, parks, or local beer halls. When Korea played Italy, it jumped to 5 million. Today, when Korea lost against Germany, the number was estimated at 6.5 million. Schools and offices closed early to 'prepare' for the game. They are thinking of naming Tuesday a national holiday, to honor the first time a team in Asia has made it to the World Cup semi-finals. People are singing Arirang at football games(this is an old song, and no young people sing it anymore).

Some people I know who were ashamed or highly critical of Korea even went to the streets to rally the team, draped Korean flags over their bodies and wore the ubiquitous 'Be the Reds' t-shirts(I find this slogan hilarious given the severe anti-communist stance of this country).

Suddenly, Korea has something to be proud about – it's not the great food, the great people, the beautiful landscape, history, culture, language, or anything of importance!! This is all about football! And the team itself isn't given much credit – it's all about the coach, a Dutchman! It has been recently announced that Hiddink will get honorary citizenship. Polls are saying that if he ran for president this fall, he would have a good chance, and at the very least, he should be prime minister. There are t-shirts with his face on them, banners saying 'Hiddink for President' and talk of 'Hiddink-style leadership' for the new global era(this means that everyone in this country is going to be studying his style of leadership in the next year or so).

Along with this rise in national pride, is a rise in anti-American sentiment(actually, this started with the gold skating medalist Ohno). Taxi drivers talk about how we have to do better than the US, fruit vendors talk about it. Suddenly, Korea has been the puppet government of the US, a fact long-ignored by the masses until very recently(whether you agree with this or not, I don't want to argue – the point is that it is now an acceptable opinion, whereas 2 weeks ago, you could get into a lot of fights about it). The US has become the 'bad' big brother, pushing their way around economics(think steel tariffs) and government(think approving all presidents), and using valuable land in Seoul for their bases(true).

In addition, I got into my first violent confrontation with Korean people over what was supposedly a 'language problem' or a 'cultural difference.' For the first time, I feel physically afraid in this country of low crime and bans on guns and drugs. I am afraid to speak English on the streets to my friends who don't speak Korean because it might offend someone(actually, this was a problem before but not something I was ever afraid of doing).

And I feel sad that these people on the streets, waving the flag and cheering all night when the Korean team won, couldn't feel pride in their country before this. That they measure this country by American or western standards and never bother to learn or feel proud of some of the really amazing parts of this country – like ondol(the heating system where the hot water pipes run under the floor) for example. Or other facets of traditional architecture, like the beautiful kiwa houses. Or food, food, food!

I wonder how long it will last(as I write this, a drunken man outside is cursing because Korea lost). I wonder if Koreans will stop being ashamed that they can��t speak English, that politics are a joke(aren't they in every country?), that businesses here are corrupt(Enron, need I say more?). I wonder if they will stop kicking themselves in the ass because they aren't #1 in everything.

I wonder, does all nationalism have to be blind? Or based on insecurities? Does all nationalism mean excluding or being violent to those who are not included in the nation? Is it possible to be a nationalist in the true sense, and still be able to appreciate other countries and people? If it is, then maybe I will one day be able to say I am a Korean nationalist, in all the best senses.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that I don't see all the bad things about Korea, I could write a book - but there are a lot of good things too.

BTW, I have to take back what I said about the World Cup. It took over the entire country – so I did end up watching and even cheering (really!) for a few games :)

Korea Update 12/13/03

Dear friends,

It's been over a year since I've last written an update, and although I find it difficult to summarize a year in one letter, I will try.

My older brother David got married to my friend Becky last August. He is the first of my siblings to get married, so I think I can say confidently that my brother and sister and I are all hoping this will appease my mother for a few years and take less pressure off of all of us. The preparations for the wedding were very educational in terms of bringing out a lot of family issues. However, it was also an opportunity for me to rethink my (negative) attitudes toward marriage, and see that the true meaning of it can be beautiful. And I am happy to have a sister-in-law who is also a good friend.

I also parted ways with my boyfriend of 2.5 years last summer. The break up was amicable, and as I care deeply for Dope I hope to maintain our friendship. Only time will tell.

Earlier this year, I began volunteering for a Buddhist environmental and human rights organization, which is one of the few organizations that really practice what they preach, in terms of living a non-consumer lifestyle, treating others with respect, and being mindful and self-reflective. I have been learning a lot from them, and it has been a nice re-entry to the NGO world. Through volunteering with Jungto, I was able to meet engaged Buddhists (meaning socially-engaged) from all over the world, and a good friend from Thailand has helped get settled here.

"Here" meaning Thailand, where I have been since November and plan to stay until February, conveniently riding out the harsh and COLD Korean winter by eating good food, getting massages, and enjoying the warm Thai sun.

I'm currently in Mae Hong Son, a small border town to Burma in the beautiful northwest, surrounded by mountains and mountains. It reminds me a lot of Korea, and they even have something that looks and tastes like kimchi. I believe the people of the north and Koreans are close relatives.

I am working with an ecotour organization called Jorkoe Eco-Trek(www.jknet.org) doing office support and selling tours and products. I also get to go on some treks, and am learning a lot about the ecotour industry. This is something very close to my heart, as it combines my two loves, the environment and travel. Whether the industry (or the organization) lives up to these ideals is another story, but so far so good. Maybe this will be a starting point for a new career…?

I am also teaching english to volunteers of a Shan(ethnic minority in Burma) organization. The Shan are not recognized as displaced persons, like the Karen, so they do not have the 'benefit' of living in refugee camps. I say benefit because altho the thai government is not exactly channeling funds there, many int'l and local organizations are, so for good or bad there are schools and training programs for them. However, this does not apply to the Shan (as well as other ethnic groups) who are considered migrants, so there are few programs available to them. Faced with little schooling, few opportunities, and almost no jobs, many young Shan women are lured or turn to prostitution to survive or help their families survive and the men usually become day laborers as they are not legal residents. The organization has an informal school and works with empowering the youth.

I originally came to Thailand with the purpose of volunteering with refugee camps along the border, hoping to find some 'inspiration' by working with them. Initially disappointed, I find myself unexpectedly inspired by the hill tribe people. In our tours we have a lot of interaction with the families, and on a recent trip to a Lahu village, I was impressed to see a 50-year-old couple, living in a wooden house and cooking with wood, happy and in love. I was struck to see the strong feeling of community in these villages - most things are shared freely, all activities are inclusive of everyone, and people have open hearts. You can see it in their faces and in their smiles, which always reach their eyes. I cannot imagine anyone in these villages, despite their poverty, suffering from depression or loneliness. I felt honored to be allowed in their homes, eat their food, sleep in their beds, and learn about their lives.

I speak of loneliness because it is something that has always been a part of my life. It is at once more and less acute here. In the villages, in some interactions with people, I don't feel its presence. At other times, when I feel frustrated with the language, insecure about not knowing how my actions are being interpreted culturally, or when I unknowingly hurt or offend someone as a result, it becomes particularly acute. These are not new feelings. In fact this is exactly what I went through in Korea the first few years, and what I go through sometimes even now. When I am feeling more positive, I realize that learning about a new culture and language is a lesson in listening and observing carefully, one that I need to learn and relearn always.

I will be leaving MHS next week and spending Christmas with my friend in Chiang Rai. Afterwards, I will be participating in a 10-day forest walk, a spiritual retreat spent in nature, hearing the stories of Karen hill tribe people and meditating. Shortly afterwards, I will be going to Mumbai (Bombay) India, to interpret for a conference and spend some time travelling. I should be back in Korea by March.

I hope all of you are well, and please keep in touch.

With much love from Mae Hong Son,

Sarah Eunkyung

Thailand Update 04/14/04

Dear friends and family,

It’s mango season in Thailand, a heaven for mango lovers like me. Mangos and sticky rice with coconut milk (a popular Thai dessert) is easily accessible at any restaurant or corner street stall, and carts of green and yellow mangos are sold by vendors everywhere. Today is the start of the Songkran(New Year) holiday in Thailand, a 3-day holiday that in reality is a 9-day festival of food, water fights and mass exodus of people from Bangkok to their hometowns in the provinces. The water-throwing is a unique part of the festival. People stand on the street with buckets and throw water at or on whoever comes by, and some people get into the back of trucks for the express purpose of getting wet. Some people even put ice in the water to make things interesting. In Chiang Rai, a small town in the north, there are literally thousands of people on the street or in trucks drinking beer, throwing water, and eating. Similar to holidays all over the world, there is much to eat, including mangos. I’ve had mangos for breakfast, after lunch, for desert. I never thought the words would ever come out of my mouth, but I have to say it now – I have eaten enough mango.

Yes, I am still in Thailand. I had given up staying here longer and begun plans to go back to Korea when I was suddenly offered a temporary full-time job, a gift from above, so to speak. I am the new program officer for Committee for Asian Women, a regional women worker’s organization based in Bangkok. Program officer means that I will be in charge of implementing programs, mainly research projects, exchange visits, and workshops. I am both excited and apprehensive about my new job. The work itself is of value, facilitating information exchange so that worker’s organizations or unions can learn from each other and organize better. It is a great sigh of relief to have some stability in my life – job stability, meaning not having the insecurity of a freelance job and regular working hours, as well as a place of my own, a nice studio apartment in the northern part of the city. However, it is my first full time job in seven years, and adjusting to a 9-5 work environment will not be easy for someone like me, used to being able to change my schedule and having long weekends. But I’m not complaining, I’m very grateful to be here and have this opportunity. I’m sure I will learn a lot and have memorable experiences.

As usual, the last few months have been busy and I don’t know where to begin. At the end of December, I participated in a 10-day forest walk through the northern mountains and learned about the spirituality of the Karen hill tribes, their problems of land ownership and citizenship, met wonderful people, and adopted a Karen grandfather. The experience was so rich and wonderful, I find it difficult to try to summarize in a few sentences. I’m tempted to use the phrase, ‘life changing,’ but it sounds so cliché. And really, what 10-day anything can change your life? Instead, I will use the phrase ‘perspective changing,’ because that is what happened. My perspective on nature, on spirituality, on human nature, changed. I will stop here and hope I’ll be able to tell you more in person one day.

In the middle of January, I went to India for the World Social Forum, an annual gathering of activists from every sector of practically every country in the world to discuss, well, everything that interests them. Gender, music, racism, globalization, dance, internet, art, poetry, politics. I found it fascinating to sit in the venue and watch people walk by – people wearing traditional costumes, t-shirts with slogans ranging from “Free Tibet” to “Get out of the Closet.” And not just walking, but marching, shouting, singing and dancing. People from all different walks of life with different languages, ways of dress, eating, and even shitting habits, all together for 6 days. Mumbai didn’t know what hit them when over 100,000 people showed up. To be honest, the conference organizers weren’t ready either. Traditionally held in Fort Alegre, Brazil, it was the first attempt to have the WSF in Asia and I do believe it will be the last.

My favorite part of the conference was joining a group of people evicted from their homes as they marched and danced their way across the grounds. I danced with them for over an hour, and they were still going strong as I finally dropped to the ground in exhaustion. Equally great was the nightly drinking sessions with the Korean groups that I had come to interpret for. We took up almost an entire floor of one hotel, and there were at least 2 rooms filled with people drinking, smoking, and talking shit or politics until late into the night. You could ‘room hop’ as I invariably did, meeting many people for the first time. It’s funny, in the past few months I’ve been doing more volunteer interpreting for labor groups, and in the process had a lot of people tell me that I need to work in labor. Now I am. Coincidence or fate?

After spending 10 days in Mumbai (Bombay), I left for the north with my friend and spent most of my time in the desert province of Rajastan. I did a lot of shopping, hunting for good food, watched beautiful sunsets and ate more potatoes than I ever wanted to, and fell off a camel during a camel safari (that's the little devil in the picture - he was startled by a peacock).

Without disrespecting the Indian people and culture, I have to state that by the end of the month of traveling, I was so happy to be back in Thailand, eating fresh vegetables, being around laid-back people, and not having to keep an eye out for potential men grabbing me on the streets. It was that bad. One of the many times I feel extreme anger at the male race. People say that you either love India or hate it. I was in the middle, sometimes hating it and sometimes loving it. One thing it certainly is not is a place you will forget.

It’s been a week since I’ve started work and I’ve come to realize that I have an American or western preoccupation with efficiency. There are times when I want to scream because nothing works – internet is slow, computers aren’t working, someone is sick, something is closed. A whole week can go by without doing anything. To balance the slowness, people also value relationships and quality of life. Work is not the most important thing. People take time to visit their families, to see friends, to have rest. They won’t get easily upset or frustrated at you, even if you make a mistake or do things slowly. There is not as much addiction to coffee or alcohol, although that is quickly changing, especially in the big cities. If there was only find a way to strike a balance between these two things…

I will be working at this job until the end of this year and likely longer if I find another job. Please know that you are welcome to come and visit.

Take care, and let me know how you are doing.

Love from Thailand,

Sarah

Thailand Update 09/15/04

dear friends

One thing that every foreigner has to brace themselves for when travelling to a new country is being cheated. It will happen everywhere, every time, no matter what. Particularly in less developed countries. Most of the time it’s a miniscule amount, like 2 cents, but in that countries’ currency it can be 100% of the original price. Sure, not a big deal. But then there are times when it is 200%, then 500%. In some case, you end up paying 1000% of the local price and then you feel like a total schmuck. Let’s face it, it’s not about the money, although at the time it feels like you were cheated out of your life savings. At most it’s a difference of $5. But it’s the feeling that we are unfairly being targeted. I brace myself for it every time I go to a new country, and about every 10^th time it happens, I start getting upset. Really upset.

Having been a tourist in Thailand about 5 or 6 times, I feel like I know enough to know when I am being cheated and avoid it. I can bargain in Thai, I’ve done a lot of shopping around, I’ve heard the horror stories. Moreover, I’m a resident of this country of a thousand smiles, and it’s unexpected when it happens now. Actually, I feel more like an idiot, because I feel like I should know better. Or to be honest, I feel I deserve SOME credit for being able to hold a conversation, albeit short, in Thai, being able to use public transportation, and generally having spent the last 10 months here. It’s almost humiliating when it happens now, like I thought I had fooled some people and suddenly I realize that I’m the one being a fool.

So this time I was cheated by my apartment. I had been paying what seemed like an unusually large amount for my electricity (especially considering I’m never home), and after numerous arguments and runaround, I finally saw my electricity meter (it was behind a locked door that the management continuously refused to open). After these arguments, my electricity bill dropped a shocking 60%. Even if I account for being gone more than the usual days this month for business and pleasure trips, I figured I have been overcharged regularly by about 100%. Scandalous. I feel like I have the words CHEAT ME written across my forehead. And after all of this, the management accused me of not understanding the “Thai” way of doing things, that I just won’t listen to reason when I insist on seeing my electricity readings for the last few months. Damn. Cheated AND accused of being a dirty American. No worries, I’m moving next week.

Is this the lowest point of being in Thailand? Absolutely not – work is shit, pollution is horrible, I miss friends and Korean food and singing rooms and hwato - but it is one of those points in which all the frustration I’ve been feeling have been converged into one, single, completely justified enemy that I NEED TO KILL. And then it will ALL BE BETTER.

Don’t worry, I’ve changed my assassination fantasy into a revenge scenario - I’m going to slip a letter under the doors of my numerous neighbors instead. Let the management deal with a few more irate foreigners, that will teach them. J

However, I have to say that I am learning a lot from being in Thailand. I’m not only learning to be patient in the face of gross inefficiency, I’m learning how to smile to cover up my frustration. A good habit these Thais have. I’m also learning to be less direct when expressing my anger, frustration, or disagreement. There are a million ways to use silence, and I have yet to learn more than one of them. It takes time.

But to be totally honest, I am learning a lot from work. Having been thrown into a situation where the entire organization was a mess, I have learned that I can write a 3-year report(writing about activities that I didn’t organize nor participate in), I can strategize for funding, and organize programs in a fairly new issue area for me – women workers. I found I could even work a lot of overtime – weekends and holidays and late nights – without going completely mad. Of course I didn’t do it alone – I got a lot of support from my co-worker and friend Jini – but for a while I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it.

I have also met some incredible workers who shared with me their stories of struggle, hardship, and growth; their sense of humor and ability to cut through the BS, their new pride as women and workers, and thrill at being recognized by what they see as a big international organization has been an inspiring and humbling experience. If only for the opportunity to meet these women and hear their stories, I think this time at Committee for Asian Women has been entirely worth it.

Now, after some wonderful visits from friends and family, I’m in the middle of organizing an exchange program for domestic workers (house cleaners and babysitters and such) from 6 countries. Afterwards, I will be wrapping up and handing over to a new staff person, and move on. In the interim, I’m not sure where, but within the next year or so, I think I’m finally ready to head back to the US. So, hopefully in the not-too-far-distant future, we can have a nice long chat over good coffee and cheesecake (can you tell I miss good cheesecake??).

With love from Thailand,

Sarah / Eunkyung

Last Thailand Update 12/29/04

Originally sent on December 29, 2004

dear friends,

for those of you who do not know, and may not believe, i have decided to return to the United States next month (mid-january 2005) to pursue studies, in one form or another (that has yet to be decided...). It has been a long time, but after many years of indecision and conflicting emotions, this is one that leaves me with a feeling of absolute rightness. Not that I won't miss Thailand or Korea, or wish that I could stay, but I also feel that if I do not go back now, it will never happen. And it is surely something that i need to do, for many reasons.

In a book I am reading now, Salman Rushdie wrote, "Disorientation is lost of the east...the east is what you sail by, lose the east and you lose your bearings, your certainties, your knowledge of what is and may be, perhaps even your life." With less than 2 weeks left before i leave here to return to california, i find these words resonate within me. What will it be like to lose the east? will i feel lost, unstable, the earth beneath my feet not solid? will i be able to find the east again, or lose it forever like a rejected lover?

However, Rushdie also questions is this is all a myth, and that only when you let go, when you face the feelings of loss and chaos and loneliness, that you find your bearings and orient yourself in the bigger picture of life. Which is true? i'm not sure either, but i suppose the next 2 years will give me a sure answer.

As i write these words they seem so trivial in the face of the tragedy that has hit Southeast Asia with the earthquake and resulting tsunamis. perhaps the only reason that this tragedy will seem real to many is that many of those dead are tourists from the west. This can be illustrated by the shock of knowing that hundreds if not thousands of tourists in Thailand are dead and/or missing, but in neighboring Aceh, the dead are estimated at over 10,000. Yet the thailand loss feels closer, because of my physical proximity.

I suppose that this is also true of great tragedies that happen in the west as well, they do not seem as real as those that happen in our own backyard. I am saddened and troubled, even though i know that the fragility of life is a given, even though i know that these things happen all the time. it is still disturbing to know it happened so close, and in all likelihood i someone i met recently was a victim. My email address is probably lost in a bag somewhere in this person's guesthouse at the beach, lost forever and i will never know what happened. (picture is Northern Thailand, where I was staying when the earthquake hit)

after the shock and sadness, i have started thinking of this tragedy as an opportunity to think of our relationship to nature. our civilizations have not been treating nature well, and nature, when provoked, lashes back at us in retribution. hmm. a little biblical. can't get away from these religious allegories. another way i think of it is about the fragility of life: nature always gave and took life, and we have somehow assumed that we are safe from death in our concrete walls and cities and hospitals and bacteria-killing liquid soaps.

this is morbid. i will stop. for some reason, this event makes it more difficult to think of leaving. i'm not sure why. i find my feelings leaving thailand are even more complex than my feelings of leaving korea. perhaps because i left korea a year ago, perhaps because i've been through a lot this last year. Then i realize that it is similar to the feeling i had leaving korea the first few years, when the pain was too new and the bonds too fragile. i left korea once, for good(i thought at the time), with a feeling of loss, or having missed something, or lost great opportunities, and i cried like someone with a broken heart. i've already said goodbyes to work and friends in Bangkok, and it was a similar feeling. but more familiar now the second time around. loss, sadness, and a little regret. but knowing that all of these emotions signal very significant life lessons that i have learned from being here.

Strangely enough, i am looking forward to my future life in the bay area. i waited until i was absolutely ready, and now i know i am. there is no hesitation about me leaving, i look forward to seeing family and old friends, to taking classes in english, and exploring the United States with the eyes of a tourist. I realize more and more how little i know about the US, the history, the geography, and the people (in the midwest or south, for example). in learning more about the US, i hope to also learn a little more about myself, for i can no longer deny that it is a part of me. how much it is a part of me is something i will have to discover on my own. I have promised myself i will stay at least 2 years, whether good or bad. i think this is the longest commitment i've made in a while. :)

I'm looking forward to seeing all of you in person. many of you are not good with writing, so i hope to catch up face to face and hear of the changes in your lives, your ideas, or just be happy being near the familiarity of old friends.

as soon as i get settled, i will email all of you with my new contact information.

happy new year, and see you soon.

sarah/eunkyung

Happy New Year 2006

Original Post Date: December 30, 2005

Dear Friends and Family,

Over the Christmas break, I went to my brothers’ house and went through my boxes. It was the first time I had opened some of them for 10 years, from before I left for Korea . As I went through them, I had this strange feeling of looking at someone else’s life, someone else who was close enough to be familiar, but not me. The pictures and letters and gifts reminded me of all the people from my past, some of whom I haven’t thought about for years (no, none of you on this list are in this category).

This is the feeling that I’ve been having for the last year while being back. I am reconnecting with my past life, the life that I had before I went to Korea and started a new one. At each step of rediscovery, I have this disconnected feeling that I’ve been here before, but the memory is hazy. When I go to LA, for example, I find that I don’t know places and streets that I should know. I went to Echo Park , where I haven’t been to for 10 years, and then I am in dream world again. My friend asks me to tell him Bible stories, and I struggle to remember the ending to the story of Samson. My friends say things like, remember when…? And I can’t remember. Things like that.

So I see this period of being back in the US as my time to get to know my other self again. I feel somewhat schizophrenic, but I’m starting to get used to it. The time has come to meld the two into one, so to speak.

In this process, I have to admit to myself that there were a lot of things I never really knew that well. I didn’t know LA enough to be able to recall all the freeways and streets. I never really knew the Bible well enough to answer my friend’s questions about God’s will and what happened to Delilah. I don’t know that much about California geography, history of the United States , or anything else. So I have been rediscovering but also exploring for the first time, and it has been eye-opening. I guess it also means that I don’t know myself that well either.

I never knew the central coast was so breath-taking, all the way down. That monarch butterflies come to San Luis Obispo every winter and settle on the trees. I didn’t know that the ski resorts at Lake Tahoe were really different from the ones at Big Bear – the biggest difference being the views of the endless mountains and the lake. I forgot about the existence of happy hour, one of the best things about drinking in the US , and that some happy hours are incredibly cheap ($1 drinks, for example), and how do they make any money? And that sunsets can be as incredible here as they were in Korea , or that mountains without trees have a naked beauty all their own. I enjoy family gatherings here just as much as I did in Korea, and maybe more since I’ve been gone so long and there is more catching up to do. Most of all, I learned that fate (or God’s will or whatever you want to call it), has a strange way of making things work out if you just pay attention to the signs.

What does this mean? After a somewhat painful adjustment period, I am glad I am here and happy to be among old and new friends. I miss Korea a lot, and I sometimes wish I were there, but I know that I am meant to be here now. I am applying to graduate school now, and will be hopefully studying women workers in Korea in the fall of next year.

I hope this finds you healthy and happy. Happy New Year!

Love,
Sarah Eunkyung

PS. For those who do not have my current contact information:
XXXX
XXXX - if I haven’t connected with you in a while, please call me!

Happy Valentines Day 2005

Original post date
Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 19:50:51 -0800 (PST)

dear friends,

I find myself not wanting to send this update, and it has been sitting
in my box for the past few weeks. maybe it is because i feel
uncomfortable with both my observations or because my writing
seems to reflect my unsettled state of mind....but i have decided to
send it anyways, for good or bad. if you don't want to read it, you
can just skip to the bottom where my new contact info is... :))
________

I have decided to return to the US with the mindset of a tourist.
over the last roughly 10 years that i have spent living abroad and
representing the US everywhere i went, i recently began to realize
that american culture boggles my mind and i cannot answer some
questions that people ask me, such as 'how could bush get re-
elected?' and the sad answer is that maybe i never did. i have
always lived in fairly large cities in the west or east coast, and i do
not know much about the midwest or south of the country.

even rural california is another world. my knowledge of history and
geography of the US is dismal, and i really have a hard time
explaining the political system in the country (ie, try explaining
the electoral college and why it exists to people in other countries).
So, here i am after roughly 10 years away, trying to learn about
what has become a strange country, and i would like to share some
of my initial adjustment 'shocks.'

i am surprised by the availability of hot water and tissue paper in all
bathrooms, both public and private. at the relative ease of doing
things, at all the 'free' things available, including the use of the
internet which i am using now. there are free offers everywhere,
and it sometimes gives me a headache to read them all, as i
inevitably do, and understand what are the conditions for the 'free'
merchandise. I love the public library system, and being on the
berkeley campus pretending to be a real berkeley student, one of
my dreams.

i have also been shocked at the number of homeless people who
greet me every time i leave a shop or leave the campus, some of
whom are very organized with fliers. some of whom are well-
dressed, while some are not and smell of alcohol. most are very
friendly and say, god bless, even when i don't give them change.

it has been difficult for me to ask people for favors. this is
different from asia, because there seems to be an understanding
that it will be reciprocated at some point or another. here i feel
there is not that common understanding, and things need to be
reciprocated up front, and i find myself hesitating before i ask
for something. especially when it comes to taking people's time,
which everyone here seems short of. yet this is also contrasted
by the friendliness of strangers, and unexpected kindnesses of
both good and peripheral friends.

i am shocked by the amount of waste here. the indiscriminate
use of paper towels and napkins rather than kitchen towels or
handkerchiefs for every situation. i find myself not using my
handkerchief anymore, and assimilating too quickly by
contributing to this waste.

i love the anti-mainstream culture. there are tons of community
classes teaching everything from revolution to computers to fifty
kinds of yoga. there are free-rides to san francisco using
carpooling from any gas station early in the morning, and a
pro-bicycle anti-car movement that is pretty successful. the odd
thing is that the underground culture has become kind of
mainstream.

i am shocked by how much time i spend alone. sometimes a
whole day will go by without me really talking or connecting to
someone. i forgot that people like to talk on the phone rather
than meet in person, and i have learned to do the opposite
from living in asia, where telecommunication is more
expensive. i have also started to realize that life here is more
lonely existence, and it is an opportunity to deal with loneliness.

these are some of my initial observations, but of course my
opinions seem to change every day. overall, i am happy to be
here, enjoying being in school, and back in the US.

in the last couple of weeks i've moved into my new
apartment, gotten a cell phone, started shopping for all the
millions of things i seem to need to get by, and orienting
myself to this new city. I am taking cultural anthropology
and salsa at a local community college, and auditing a
geography class at UC berkeley.

my new address and telephone numbers are as follows:

XXXXXX
XXXXXX

take care, and happy valentine's day.
sarah/eunkyung

Blogging dreams

I've wanted a blog for a long time to post some of my old updates on Korea and Thailand. Now I have both the technical knowledge (I know, you don't need a lot, but you should have seen me a few years ago) and the time (procrastinating for grad school can get you a lot done in other areas), so here I am. Keep tuned in for my old postings. Remember, my old postings were at a certain time in my life, and if they are offensive or if you disagree, that is fine. It was where I was at that moment, and I cannot apologize for who I am or was then.